What A Hell...

Friday I went to see LaMaire (Not sure if that’s the right spelling) because I was having bad abdominal pains, especially on my right side. I’m thinking it was just round ligament pains. Tylenol helps it and my headaches, which are getting more frequent. Monday was my actual scheduled appointment at 3:20. Shaun was there but showed up late because of school traffic and the rain so he missed the heartbeat since my mom was in a hurry. Then I had to get blood drawn to screen for Down Syndrome and Cystic Fibrosis. The lady (Pam) was great it barely hurt and went real fast, unlike the Naval hospital. LaMaire said I’m not gaining enough weight and I need more protein to do it. I’ve gained four pounds in four months. I’m supposed to get to at least 25 gained by the end.

I haven’t been sure I’ve felt any movement in about two weeks, until Monday. The baby was VERY active, almost the whole day. When I went to my younger sister’s band concert the baby danced. I think loud external noises like multiple people talking or music is the trigger, but who knows. My next appointment is in 4-5 weeks and the anatomical ultrasound is supposed to be before that.

Well, I already have been feeling that I need to move out, but now it’s definite. My dad doesn’t want to bother talking to me about any of it and doesn’t think I need him. Mom thinks if the two of us talked it out it would solve everything. It won’t, not that he’ll talk. My grades have dropped and I’m struggling. The emotional strain is almost too much for me to bear. The energy emanating in my house is enough to make me be in a constant gloom, and I know it’s not good for me nor baby. I can only see Shaun on the weekends (one day) and it’s getting irritating. It hurts to think I actually have to leave, but I know I have to do something, and this is all I can think of to let everyone cool down and maybe they’ll realize what they’ve done to me.

My Nana knows too (my mom’s mom), and is on my side. That’s reassuring. I don’t think anyone else in the family’s been told, which I don’t know if that’s good or not. Probably not. Our trip to Oregon is mid-June to mid-July and it might be my last time to see any of them for awhile, but I don’t know if they’ll let me go if I move out before June.

We’ve found a place that we can afford on HWY 24. Rent is $400 a month for a one bed one bath and we only have to pay for electric and the cable/phone. I can catch the bus to or from school too. Wish me luck.

Oh, I’ve found a mentor for my senior project, Kaitlyn. I’m doing Prenatal Belly Dancing. I’m really excited about it. I've also started getting more into Sea Magick. Found abook at the Compass Rose on the Island on it. I'm definitely feeling the Water Mage/Sea Witch pull :)